Taking friends or acquaintances sailing can be enjoyable, or it can result in a friendship-ending disaster. I have experienced both extremes and have become wiser because of it.

A wise skipper prepares ahead and carefully executes his or her plan. Seldom do I invite friends who are already sailors, as they most likely would prefer to sail on their own boats. For non-sailing guests, my invitation may be declined due to their fear or complete lack of interest. Don't get in a knot by a decline as some people are prone to seasickness, or at least a previous try at sailing may have resulted in their mal de mer.

Plan in advance how you will welcome your guests, but don't set in stone, the date, time, and length of the sail. Leave these details until the last minute when you have carefully studied local weather conditions.

When you extend invitations to non-sailors, some may be hesitant to accept. To make the decision easier, ask, "Would you like to come sailing for an hour or two?" Or, "Can you spare part of a day?" A very popular option is, "How about joining us for a sundown cruise?"

On the agreed day, arrive at your boat in time to prepare it for your guests. Begin by checking fuel and holding tanks, and the supply of food and beverages. After turning on the refrigeration and removing your sail covers, you are almost ready.

Hopefully your guests will remember your suggestions for appropriate clothing: soft-soled shoes, a light jacket, camera, and sunglasses. Ideally all of these items will be neatly stored in a soft-sided duffle bag.

When your guests arrive, assist them aboard by taking their cary-on items from them and extending a hand to help them aboard. Remember that they will be unprepared for the slight rocking of your boat as they step aboard. Nest, give them the "Cooks" tour including a place of their own to put their "stuff." Your tour should include the location of safety equipment (PFDs) and a demonstration of how to operate the marine head.

Be sure to assign each guest a task in the disembarking process. Choose something at which they cannot fail, like "hold my sunglasses while I untie the docklines" or "keep a lookout for fairway traffic as I maneuver out of the slip." This effectively answers their unasked question of can I help, without the necessity of bluntly saying, "Sit down, shut-up, and hold on." At last you are ready to get underway.

As you motor toward open water, be sure to observe the wind speed direction. When there is any chance of heeling, I begin with reefed sails. While I hoist the sails, I usually turn the helm over to a guest with instructions to steer toward a landmark or sea buoy, whichever heads the boat into the wind. Once under sail I kill the engine, leaving only the gurgle of our bow wave to break the serenity as we ghost across the surface of the water. Without saying a work, guests will soon strain their ears to listen for sounds. During this time of adjustment, relaxation may come slowly to some and quickly to others.

To share the joy of sailing is to become part of the process. I quickly invite guests to share steering and sail trimming. This is also a good time for guests to explore the boat. If the seas are calm I suggest,"The view from the forward deck is awesome. Please travel forward on the high side (windward) of the boat keeping a secure hold with at least one hand on the cabin handrails."

After a while, when guests seem to be more relaxed, I shake out the refs and announce that cool drinks and some snacks will be served shortly in the cockpit. Like mushrooms appearing in spring, cameras will appear and laughter will abound. Everyone will want to have his or her picture taken at the helm.

I measure the enjoyment of my guests by the questions they ask and the smiles on their faces. These indicators tell me that sailing is a hit with my landlubber crew.

We plan our final tacks to catch the last few whispers of a dying breeze as we head back to port. If we have timed our arrival well, the last rays of the sunset will disappear below the horizon and if we hurry ashore, we will outsmart the hordes of mosquitoes looking for an evening snack. A skipper knows when it has been s successful cruise as guests' conversations turn to the "next time."

Someday, maybe years from now, one of your former guests will be sailing their own boat with a group of non-sailors and they will say, I remember the first time...